Just enjoy this one, okay?
So here we finally are. The final confrontation. A battle for the ages .
Stan looked over his shoulder and into the black vastness. There had been trees there, and houses, and people. Then BANG. All went to shitness.
But not Stan… Somehow he was ok. He was always ok.
”I don’t know what you are talking about.” He turned back to the burning ball in front of him. It was so hot everything around it burst into flames.
But not Stan…
”To me it looks like we are pretty alone around here. And honestly, you don’t strike me as dangerous.” He picked his cigarette out of his mouth and lit it on the heat.
”Fuck. ” He said when it instantly burned up.
We are the two entities left of this collapsed universe. I, the energy refocused after the universe no longer could contains it. And you, the sad attempt of a dead world to stay relevant. Your immortality is a shame to our creation. Your death will rebirth our new world.
”That sounds great.” Stan scratched his ass. ”I only have two questions. One. Couldn’t you at least have let me keep my underwear?”
I am infinite energy. I am everything and everything is me. Except the anomaly that created you.
”How fun… and secondly. ” Stan smiled at the thought. ”How are you planning on destroying me. I am invincible. ”Stan threw his fist into the shining ball. A punch so hard it once knocked Greg out off high school. The punch went right through the ball.
A bright burst threw Stan through the emptiness. Stan farted from how hard he laughed. ”Nothing can hurt me you dumbass. Do you really think your little booms are any different? ”
In front of Stan the light gave of screech so high pitched it tore the emptiness apart.
But not Stan… He found comfort in heavy metal.
You are an abomination among all realities. You are a demon in the everlasting universal cycle. You are deeeaaad.
The light released all its energy in one burst. All turned white. Within the white light a spectrum of colors was reborn. Stan smiled as he saw his wife once again walk the green grass. Then he laughed again as he saw the flickering light fight to remain after realizing its own mistake.
“Dumbass.” He said as he swallowed it and the instability was never seen again.
And that’s the story about how Stan saved the universe.