Flashes of Sanity #66: Series of incidents

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly (during July it is daily!) dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

Today’s entry: Series of incidents


It was never the plan to end up at top of a building. Not ever. But when your name is Alred Klaudio that’s just what happens.

First of all Alred was never the smartest in the class. Not even among his friends in that class. He was not the strongest either, nor the fastest.

Alred just was.

Sometimes he was okay with that.

This peculiar series of incidents which put Alred at the top of a building began with breakfast. Alred had heard that a great day begins with a great breakfast, so he made coffee and ate a burrito from yesterday. Then he spent an hour on the toilet, because his definition of a great breakfast was not in line with what his stomach defined as a great breakfast.

After losing half his body weight, and clogging the toilet multiple times, Alred went for a run. Or rather a stumble.

Anyhow that so called run got him to his work where he got yelled at for being 30 minutes late. The manager did not seam to accept clogged toilets as a good excuse much like a teacher doesn’t accept dogs.

Alred got fired. And stumbled his way home.

On his way home Alred stumbled (for real this time) on a brick and fell on his nose. This series of incidents would bring anyone to tears, but not Alred. After all, he ate a great breakfast this morning. Nothing can bring you down after that.

Alred instead stopped the bleeding and continued stumbling all the way to a hotel. That was always a good place to hang, and they had some great cinnamon rolls.

With two great breakfasts this day will become twice as great, Alred thought.

Alred took a bun from a passing wagon and squeezed it into his mouth. It is hard to swallow a cinnamon bun without chewing, but that was something within Alred’s expertise.

A man caught Alred as he was about to walk to the luxury suits, he usually found the best drinks there just laying around from yesterday.

“Please help me with this,” the man said.

The carpet was really heavy, but Alred was not someone who dared to object so he stumbled the carpet up the stairs. He got a little hesitant when he saw the guns. The masks were also weird. The carpet sounded weird too.

Well at the top he stumbled again.

Clumsy me, he thought. He looked back to apologize but no one was there. No they had all decided to stumble down the stairs.

How weird, Alred thought.

Alred was not someone who gave up on when he began something, so he carried the carpet to a helicopter.

“You are alone?” The men inside asked. “How greedy.” Then they threw him a suitcase.

To Alfred’s surprise the suitcase contained enough money to rent him the hotel’s luxurious roof suit for some months.

I wonder what will happen if I eat two burritos tomorrow, he thought.

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