Flashes of Sanity #128: Indoor Protection

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your daily dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

Today’s entry: Indoor Protection


“There is dangerous world out there ma’am. For a lady like yourself our services can prove crucial.”
The three men outside her door smiled those crocked smiles she always saw on TV. It was the bad guy smile.
“And if I don’t want you protection?” She asked just as her heroes Marta McToomb would. She even got the accent right.
“We will make sure you learn how dangerous the world can be.”
With those words they pushed her away from the door and walked in.
“All we ask for is your sons and daughters for our army and our entertainment.”
“You can’t take my son!”
The men stopped her mouth by pressing a knife against her throat.
“It is our fee, okay? It is a fee you will want to pay.”
What would Marta McToomb do? She thought. How would she save the day?
She would give them what they want just to take them down with a genius plan she came up with on the way to her son.
“He is up stairs.”
“Thank you for your cooperation.” The knife disappeared from her throat. “Show us the way my lady.”
As she walked up the stairs, her brain searched every corner for an idea. She was not an idea-woman like Marta McToomb, she realized. She was a worry-herself-into-an-ulcer-woman.
They came to a bedroom door. Two voices moaned from the inside.
“Harder,” the female moans burst into explosions of ecstasy.
‘Yes,” the man panted.
“Looks like we got the jackpot, boys,” one of the men said and slammed the door open.
The smile on all the men’s faces went away. With mouths open they looked at the middle-aged man on the floor.
“Mom!” The man screamed. “I have told you to not disturb me when I am playing videogames!”
The two dolls in his hands were as naked as dolls can be. Their bodies were entangled.
“Is this a masturbation cave?” One of the three men asked.
“No! I am playing videogames.” The man on the floor looked up at his visitors and the teenage rage ran off his face.
”I mean.” He looked at the turned off computer and TV. Then he looked at his own bulging crotch and the two dolls in his hands. His face reddened.
“Yes,” he said. “This is a masturbation cave.”
One of the three men turned to the woman standing right behind them. Her face was red too.
“You will receive our protection,” he said. He glanced at the overgrown teen. “For free. If you need anything more, just tell us okay. Shit, this was just.”
“Sad,” his two companions filled in.
The three left the house with their mouths still open. They took the rest of the day off.

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Copyright © David B. Johansson 2021

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