Flashes of Sanity #53: A Stunning Blonde

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: A Stunning Blonde


Some punched people. Some took drugs. Some used guns.

The human way of handling danger was as unique as it was harmful.

Bella found her safety in a taser. A taser and spandex. It at least looked better on her than those tights looked on all those geeks. How come none of them was as muscular as the heroes in comic books?

Her gloves with built in tasers slipped over hand. She tested them against the wall.


The hardest part was always to get out unnoticed, but she had learned the climb down the fire ladder and how to avoid the windows. And then land in an alley.

From there on finding the crooks came as easy as making instant noodles.

She tased one. His body went limp, and his mouth went burrrrr. She liked that.

“You just got stunned!” She would have to work on that.

“Thank you Stunning Blonde!” The old almost mug victim said. “How can I ever repay you?”

The stunning Blonde put her hand on the old ladies shoulder. “Just continue with your kindness and all will be okay.” She said.

“I need back-up.” The mugger said.

“Oh my…” The old lady said. “He is coming for me again.”

Stunning Blonde sent another shock on the mugger and the mouth went into an all so heavenly burrrrr again.

“You don’t have to fear him.” The stunning Blonde said but the old lady was already gone.

Such a weird old lady, The Stunning Blonde thought. Then she continued down the streets to find her next mission.

It would be easy. There were sirens everywhere. And so much crime the cops would never be able to catch them all.

Her in-ear radio told her about a cop being killed in duty and decided that would be her next criminal to find. She raised the volume and listened to a costumed villain walking the streets aiding drug gangs in their battle against the law.

A supervillain, she thought and set her taser to max, how intriguing.

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Flashes of Sanity #52: Shedding Skin

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Shedding Skin


He inhaled with a smile smeared over his face.

My collection. All my lovely demons.

One by one caressed each one. All his different skins. All his different faces.

Jack the plumber. Gone with the stab of a shovel. So blunt. The neck still wore the scars.

Matt the prostitute. So kind. So fragile. So, so easy to drug. He took the skin in his hand and pushed it against his face. The perfume was still thick.

Tomorrow, he thought, today I have other business.

His hand continued past all he could be and all someone else once was. Greg, accountant. Bill, millionaire. Fred, friend. So, so many. Yet never enough.

His hand stopped at one pale hide. Hugh, butcher.

You, he thought, once again it is time for some dirty work.

Carefully he slipped into his new identity. Would he be recognized?

Hardly. After all Chris, carpenter had never met Hugh before.

He crossed the room to a door at the back. Each step heavy from heel to toe.

They shall echo, he reminded himself.

“Please.” Chris said as the first light hit his eyes.

“Hush.” Hugh pushed his finger against Chris’s lips. “I will free you now.”

“You will?”

Hugh scanned the carved skin still attached to Chris’s body in thin strands. “Yes, we have enough.”

“Can you at least kill me quickly?”

“As you wish.” Hugh slammed his hammer through the brain.

Then the collecting began. And a new Chris the carpenter was added to the wardrobe.

It was still not enough.

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Flashes of Sanity #51: Death BRX-9

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Death BRX-9


There was a tension in the room hanging like a wet blanket over the attendees. Occasional glances flew out the window where several stories below a red mob screamed their lines with signs that promised revenge from all those who lost it all.
It was always that way. When you, like Mort, worked in automation and AI, you got used to being synonymous with destruction.
The board members weren’t as used to it, though. That was common too.
Mort scanned the room and all the red faces. He spread his wings. He liked how clean they were nowadays. He also liked his now elegant grey hair.
”I know this is a hard time for all of you.” He said. ”But I assure you, you are doing the right thing.”
”With all the budget cuts do we really have a choice?” One of the reds groaned.
”Yes, our lord has demanded an upgraded effectivity. Sooner or later that would have been unavoidable.”
A bottle slammed against the window. The board members flinched. Mort slowly turned his head and saw the brown liquid going down.
Unholy Glenn, he thought, Bilk would have loved that. He shook of the unease.
”You remember the PiFork-7?”
”Yes,” One board member looked out the window. ”It stabbed 20 times better than a manual stabber.”
”For the cost of one tenth. ” Mort continued. ”Death BRX-9 will bring that effectivness to your fires.”
There was a silence in the room. Everyone thought the same thing. More people on the streets.
”How would you like to tell our Lord you are in the black this year?” The red faces glanced at each other. They all liked that.
”The BRX-9 will make it even better!” Mort proclaimed. ”You will have the finances to educate all those on the street! Wouldn’t you like that?”
Some hesitant faces turned curious.
Great, Mort thought, time for step two.
”And if you also buy Limb Twist MGT, I will cut 10% off akk Death BRX-9 you buy.”
Suddenly the boardroom turned interested. They always did.
”Show us the numbers.” One red face said.
Mort showed one of his, nowadays, brilliant smiles and switched slide.

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Flashes of Sanity #50: Connections

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

In this week’s entry we celebrate 50 entries of Flashes of Sanity (previously 500 words). Lets see if you find all the references!


Lysa Gleen was one in the crowd now. One of thousands. Maybe even tens of thousands. How sad her father ended up in the grave before he could witness it. Now all he has is a grave and a flower that flowers even in the harshest cold. He would have loved that too.
”Everyone in place?”
Lysa pushed her finger against the Com-radio in her ear.
”Distraction is in place.”
”Bullet in place.” Kyle said.
”Great.” Simon’s voice once again sounded in Lysa’s ear. ”We are at T minus 60.”
Lysa looked at her arm watch.
”for father.” Kyle said.
”For Mr. Diamond.” Simon said.
Lysa remained silent. She just wanted SurgeRay gone. The rest she cared little for.
She let her fingers wrap around the small device in her pocket.
On the stage, one shadow moved slowly across the stage.
”I AM.” The man screamed into the microphone.
”If you as much as think of it, I will break your legs.”
Lysa glanced at the mysterious man suddenly appearing beside her.
”And trust me Carl Messinger is good at breaking legs.” He continued.
”Try m…” Lysa began but before she knew it Carl had a woman on his throat. The woman pulled his throat out with her bare teeth.
She laughed. ”Do it girl. Witches love explosions.” Then she threw herself at Lysa.
Lysa stumbled and fell with the woman on top of her. In her ear she heard Simon scream.
”Make me Level 10, boy!” Simone’s attacker screamed.
Lysa fought to keep the detonator in her hand.
”SCREAM WITH MEEEEE!” The singer shouted in the far distant just as the witch screamed the same in Lysa’s ear. Then she took Lysa’s ear between her teeth while snarling like a pitbull.
Lysa fumbling hands found the button.
“Die bitch!”
The witch just laughed and spit the ear out into her hand.
Lysa pushed the button. And the explosion tore her chest open.
The last Lysa saw was the witch laughing while stretching her hands up into the air. The singer floated above them and the witch grabbed his crouch.
“One more for me!” She screamed as her body went up in flames.

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Flashes of Sanity #49: Summer Camp

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Summer Camp


“And you know what kids?” The overly tanned boy band stand in fire of a smile for winners. He also liked to be called Dale.
Donna actually heard an idiot sigh in arousal behind her.
“What happens at summer camp, stays at summer camp.”
The same girl who sighed now giggled.
She is not just an idiot, Donna thought, she is a complete moron.
Mia pushed an elbow in Donna’s side. “Who do you think will win STD bingo this year?” She whispered.
“Hasn’t Mr. Smiley-face already won that?” Donna whispered back.
Mia chocked on her own laugh, probably just as much as the girl in the back would choke on Mr. Smiley-face later tonight.
“We will have a lot of bingos this year.” Mia forced out between her breaths.
“Probably.” Donna scanned the group of teenagers waiting to enter Camp Cactus. A lot of bored guys. And the girls would have been equally bored if it wasn’t for smiley-face. “So many bingos this year…”
“Let’s go.” The STD riddled overgrown teen shouted and opened the gates. The first ones running in cheered. They were probably hired for that.
“What game will you play this year?” Mia asked as they followed the slower horde.
“I have some ideas.” Donna said. “How about a mystery?”
“I love mysteries!” Mia giggled.
“Great.” Donna said. “I need a group of ten idiots, can you find them for me?”
“Sure, should not be that difficult. Where do you want them?”
“How about by the lake at midnight.”
“Consider it done!” Mia ran off.
Donna walked up to her cabin.
This will be prefect, she thought.
“Hey you!” She screamed at the too aroused girl who wanted Mr. STD a little too much. “I heard Dale wanted to talk to you.”
“He wanted?” The girl blushed.
“Yes, he went to the lake.”
It was all it took to get the girl to ignore all her friends at once. Donna waited for the girl to disappear. Then she caught an over hormonal boy.
“Hey, how about a swim?”
The boys in his group whistled at the boy who began to stutter. “S-swim.”
“Yes, see me by the lake in fifteen?”
Donna never let him answer before she disappeared into her cabin.
She stopped at the window. The view was stunning. As it was every year. The girl was already there. Alone. Soon she would realize Dale wasn’t coming. And just as the girl gave up, the over-hormonal boy appeared. The girl would cry in his arms. The boy would not believe his luck.
Donna picked up her notes. She crossed of the first action item. ‘Create the love birds.‘
She scanned the second item.
‘Gather the murder group.’
She smiled. Soon there would be mayhem.
Poor Mia wouldn’t understand a thing.

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Flashes of Sanity #48: The subway critic

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: The Subway Critic


”Could you just not!” Carl stormed off from his throne just to return seconds later. ”It is like you’re not even trying!”
The man Carl spoke to looked at the bearded man. His coffee mug was still on his lips.
”You can’t wear that!” Carl waved his rod towards the man’s coat. The empty soda can on top of the rod hit the coffee mug.
”Sir…” The man wiped the splashed coffee from his face. ”I am on my way to work.”
”Exactly!” Carl hit the rod over the man’s face. ”and you will be laughed at looking like that!”
The man rubbed the back of his head. His eyes was a thunderstorm. ”If you hit med again…”
”You will what? Take your coat of toilet paper and wipe me clean?”
A subway rolled in as silent as an arrow.
”IDIOT!” Carl screamed as the man entered.
Then a black fur caught his attention.
The woman sprinted on sharp heels up until Carl used his magic rod and sent the soda can in her direction. The soda can hit her heels and she fell to the ground.
”Please.” She whimpered.
”I don’t even know where to start!” Carl sat down and pointed the rod in her face. ”Black with that lipstick! Come on! It is like you want to be ridiculed! And fur… Unethical! And like 20 years too late.”
The woman cried. ”Help!”
”And.” Carl began tearing at her heels until one of them fell off. He sniffed it. ”This brand is Sooo old fashioned! And who the hell uses cocaine anymore.”
Everyone moving in the subway froze as Carl picked up his gun.
”Titiana Wulming. You are under arrest. Lets see what your husband thinks about that.” He picked up a walkie-talkie from his torn shirt. ”Guys, we have suspect on subway 9. Toilet paper white coat. And a haircut from the seventies. And well those glasses they fool no one.”
Titiana looked up at Carl as he cuffed her and tore the fur apart. ”Who are you?”
”Me?” Carl picked up a package out of the stuffing. ”Carl Messinger. And my dear lady, next time… please hide your stash somewhere less disgusting. I bet your ass has seen less shit than these stilettos. Even running shoes are better for fuck sake!”

Flashes of Sanity #47: The Misbehaving Yard

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: The Misbehaving Yard


The add had been simple.

Buy one and never care again.

So that was what Esther did.

She bought the damned flower, planted it in her yard, gave it some water and waited.

Now that weed was everywhere. And Esther was pissed. And hungry.

She had been since the roots broke her fridge.

”These frigging plants.” She muttered. ”Delvin! Where are you?”

The dog did not answer. She was about to shout again but stopped herself as she remembered Delvin ran away three days ago.

The doorbell rang.

”Frigging plants.” Esther muttered again as she pushed the vines out of her sight and opened the door.

”Hi there!” One of the two men. ”You needed some help with some wee…” His voice died of as he saw the leaves spreading behind Esther.

”Delvin?” Esther said. She coughed. ”Is that you?”

Suddenly her stomach gave up and shot the intestines up her mouth.

”What the hell.” The two men stared at the messy liquid on the entrance. Among it a furry body three days into decomposing.

”Delvin!” Esther picked up the body. She hugged it close to her chest. She looked up into the two men. ”Why don’t you come in?”

”I don’t know ma’am. We have other houses to visit. Maybe we can come back later?” Both men looked nervously at leaves growing closer.

”Don’t be silly.” Esther turned back and floated over the branches with the root sticking out her back. ”We are already part of you.”

One of the men screamed as his lungs collapsed. The other fell to the ground with his hands around his stomach.

”Why don’t you come in for some tea while we wait.” Esther said from the kitchen.

Flashes of Sanity #46: Baby boom

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Baby Boom


It had been 20 hours. 20 sweaty hours of furious arguments. Coffee breaks were taken in heavy discussions. Food breaks also.
The toiletbreaks…
“I am telling you,” Major Dunt shouted as he sipped his pants. The bomb left the room with a slurp. “It is unethical! No one would make that sacrifice.”
“For the safety of our earth?” The president had a deep wrinkle between his eyes. One could only guess why. ”I think many would consider a sacrifice of that magnitude.”
“So what will you do?” Major Dunt slammed his fist into the table. “Walk up to every house and ask, ‘Do you want to make a sacrifice for the safety of our country?’”
“I don’t see how that is any different from how we recruit today.”
“They are toddlers!”
“And when you go to highschools you ask the same question to kids who just grew out of their diapers.”
“At least they don’t need a teddy bear to sleep at night.” Major Dunt looked out across the room. “Come on guys! Someone has to understand what I am talking about.”
Regina Landon head of security looked at him over her coffee mug. “Who said we don’t understand you? We don’t just see any other way.”
“But… Kids…” Dunt’s eyes watered. “Kids. Our future.”
“Yes.” The president said with a heavy voice. “But we tried everything else.”
“We can try everything again! Send more bombs. Send more troops. Just don’t send kids.”
“Our bombs made no impact what so ever.” Friedrich Helm head of the European Union said. “And our troops they took in, mutilated and experimented on until no cell was left.”
“They will torture the kids too!” Dunt said. “We can’t just send kids into such a future!”
The silence fell heavy in the room.
“And they are our best chance of taking these aliens down.” The president stood up and put his hand on Major Dunt’s shoulder.
“And we can’t send any troops?”
“Their immune system is too stabile. We need those who magnify diseases.”
“Troops with a virus bomb?”
“The aliens would recognize it immediately.”
Major Dunt fell down on the table. He scratched the back of his head. Then he looked up at the room. And the twenty faces looking back at him.
“Fuck you.“ He sighed. “My daughter has a heavy cold. She is ready for launch.”
Major Dunt stood up straight. His eyes teared up. “I will tell her myself. If you are serious about this, I recommend you follow my example.”
Major Dunt left the room and slammed the door. His screams tore through the spine of everyone in the room.
“The rocket is ready.” The president said while scanning each and everyone in the room. “Each and everyone consider what Major Dunt just said. We send the rocket in two hours.”
“Will you send your kids? ” Friedrich asked as the president exited of the room.
“My kids are teenagers.” The president said and closed the door.

Flashes of Sanity #45: Raging Homosexuals

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s story: Raging Homosexuals


This was it! Paul Hunter took a deep breath. This is the time! The energy thundered through his body in exploding pulses. This is me living the dream!
His minds eye pictured all the non-believers. All the nay sayers. And all the nights on the streets. And all the days spent in the land of the outcasts.
He forced it to become the fuel for his eternal furnace.
This is what I am made for, he thought.
He put his lips to the mic. And he let his body explode in one shout.
”I AM”
”RAGE” sounded from thousands of voices in the dark and the stage turned into light and fire.
”I AM” He shouted again.
”RAGE” Bounced back immediately.
He gave of one of signature shrieks. ”I AM”
This time Andrew Gleanmore joined the frantic crowd from his drums. ”RAGE” His guttural growl echoed in the darkness.
In an instant Fred McHalf and Greg Kosniak detonated their guitars in deffening blasts.
”I AAAAAM” Paul shrieked and let his voice wander higher.
The crowd went insane.
”We are the Raging Homosexuals!” Paul screamed. ”and, my dear blokes and blokettes, we are here to be the hemoroids haunting all the corrupted asses!” He inhaled. ”SCREAM WITH MEEEEE!”
On que Fred, Andrew and Greg fired of the hit single that pushed the four friends into stardom.
The crowd shouted along as Paul spat the words. As he threw himself into the crowd they held him up. Someone touched his junk.
That’s what you get for wanting this life, Paul thought and smiled.
He wouldn’t trade it for a thing. At this point he would trade nothing for the life he had lived.