Flashes of Sanity #48: The subway critic

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: The Subway Critic


”Could you just not!” Carl stormed off from his throne just to return seconds later. ”It is like you’re not even trying!”
The man Carl spoke to looked at the bearded man. His coffee mug was still on his lips.
”You can’t wear that!” Carl waved his rod towards the man’s coat. The empty soda can on top of the rod hit the coffee mug.
”Sir…” The man wiped the splashed coffee from his face. ”I am on my way to work.”
”Exactly!” Carl hit the rod over the man’s face. ”and you will be laughed at looking like that!”
The man rubbed the back of his head. His eyes was a thunderstorm. ”If you hit med again…”
”You will what? Take your coat of toilet paper and wipe me clean?”
A subway rolled in as silent as an arrow.
”IDIOT!” Carl screamed as the man entered.
Then a black fur caught his attention.
The woman sprinted on sharp heels up until Carl used his magic rod and sent the soda can in her direction. The soda can hit her heels and she fell to the ground.
”Please.” She whimpered.
”I don’t even know where to start!” Carl sat down and pointed the rod in her face. ”Black with that lipstick! Come on! It is like you want to be ridiculed! And fur… Unethical! And like 20 years too late.”
The woman cried. ”Help!”
”And.” Carl began tearing at her heels until one of them fell off. He sniffed it. ”This brand is Sooo old fashioned! And who the hell uses cocaine anymore.”
Everyone moving in the subway froze as Carl picked up his gun.
”Titiana Wulming. You are under arrest. Lets see what your husband thinks about that.” He picked up a walkie-talkie from his torn shirt. ”Guys, we have suspect on subway 9. Toilet paper white coat. And a haircut from the seventies. And well those glasses they fool no one.”
Titiana looked up at Carl as he cuffed her and tore the fur apart. ”Who are you?”
”Me?” Carl picked up a package out of the stuffing. ”Carl Messinger. And my dear lady, next time… please hide your stash somewhere less disgusting. I bet your ass has seen less shit than these stilettos. Even running shoes are better for fuck sake!”

Flashes of Sanity #47: The Misbehaving Yard

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: The Misbehaving Yard


The add had been simple.

Buy one and never care again.

So that was what Esther did.

She bought the damned flower, planted it in her yard, gave it some water and waited.

Now that weed was everywhere. And Esther was pissed. And hungry.

She had been since the roots broke her fridge.

”These frigging plants.” She muttered. ”Delvin! Where are you?”

The dog did not answer. She was about to shout again but stopped herself as she remembered Delvin ran away three days ago.

The doorbell rang.

”Frigging plants.” Esther muttered again as she pushed the vines out of her sight and opened the door.

”Hi there!” One of the two men. ”You needed some help with some wee…” His voice died of as he saw the leaves spreading behind Esther.

”Delvin?” Esther said. She coughed. ”Is that you?”

Suddenly her stomach gave up and shot the intestines up her mouth.

”What the hell.” The two men stared at the messy liquid on the entrance. Among it a furry body three days into decomposing.

”Delvin!” Esther picked up the body. She hugged it close to her chest. She looked up into the two men. ”Why don’t you come in?”

”I don’t know ma’am. We have other houses to visit. Maybe we can come back later?” Both men looked nervously at leaves growing closer.

”Don’t be silly.” Esther turned back and floated over the branches with the root sticking out her back. ”We are already part of you.”

One of the men screamed as his lungs collapsed. The other fell to the ground with his hands around his stomach.

”Why don’t you come in for some tea while we wait.” Esther said from the kitchen.

Flashes of Sanity #46: Baby boom

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Baby Boom


It had been 20 hours. 20 sweaty hours of furious arguments. Coffee breaks were taken in heavy discussions. Food breaks also.
The toiletbreaks…
“I am telling you,” Major Dunt shouted as he sipped his pants. The bomb left the room with a slurp. “It is unethical! No one would make that sacrifice.”
“For the safety of our earth?” The president had a deep wrinkle between his eyes. One could only guess why. ”I think many would consider a sacrifice of that magnitude.”
“So what will you do?” Major Dunt slammed his fist into the table. “Walk up to every house and ask, ‘Do you want to make a sacrifice for the safety of our country?’”
“I don’t see how that is any different from how we recruit today.”
“They are toddlers!”
“And when you go to highschools you ask the same question to kids who just grew out of their diapers.”
“At least they don’t need a teddy bear to sleep at night.” Major Dunt looked out across the room. “Come on guys! Someone has to understand what I am talking about.”
Regina Landon head of security looked at him over her coffee mug. “Who said we don’t understand you? We don’t just see any other way.”
“But… Kids…” Dunt’s eyes watered. “Kids. Our future.”
“Yes.” The president said with a heavy voice. “But we tried everything else.”
“We can try everything again! Send more bombs. Send more troops. Just don’t send kids.”
“Our bombs made no impact what so ever.” Friedrich Helm head of the European Union said. “And our troops they took in, mutilated and experimented on until no cell was left.”
“They will torture the kids too!” Dunt said. “We can’t just send kids into such a future!”
The silence fell heavy in the room.
“And they are our best chance of taking these aliens down.” The president stood up and put his hand on Major Dunt’s shoulder.
“And we can’t send any troops?”
“Their immune system is too stabile. We need those who magnify diseases.”
“Troops with a virus bomb?”
“The aliens would recognize it immediately.”
Major Dunt fell down on the table. He scratched the back of his head. Then he looked up at the room. And the twenty faces looking back at him.
“Fuck you.“ He sighed. “My daughter has a heavy cold. She is ready for launch.”
Major Dunt stood up straight. His eyes teared up. “I will tell her myself. If you are serious about this, I recommend you follow my example.”
Major Dunt left the room and slammed the door. His screams tore through the spine of everyone in the room.
“The rocket is ready.” The president said while scanning each and everyone in the room. “Each and everyone consider what Major Dunt just said. We send the rocket in two hours.”
“Will you send your kids? ” Friedrich asked as the president exited of the room.
“My kids are teenagers.” The president said and closed the door.

Flashes of Sanity #44: Asylum of Misfits

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s story: Asylum of Misfits


None of them had been among the cool kids. Not even close actually.
They were the outcasts. The misfits a school cared very little for. Milo, fore-eyes, the geek. Susy, the book hugger. And finally Ron, the silent kid.
”When we return, you better have learned to be normal.” Sharon had said as she closed the storage room door. Then she had laughed.
They had called it an asylum. A place of healing in these distressed times. It never changed the fact that it was a storage room in the cellar. Healing rarely occurs in storage room.
”The Misfits? They went home.” They heard Miranda tell a teacher through a went. ”You know, they never go far from home.”
Susy had cried when they heard the buss drive away. She cried harder once she realized no one would miss them for days.
Nothing seemed to calm her.
Well the pipe did eventually, but that was several hours of panic later. Her brain on the floor tore Milo up though.
”What did we do?” He said over and over again.
Ron on the other hand finally found the time to think. ”You didn’t do a thing. I killed her.”
Ron was logical. He knew what was needed. He always had. So he hung up Susy’s body from one of the shelves and cut her throat open. The blood he collected in a bucket.
For drinking. He knew they needed as much.
Milo crouched in the corner as his classmate cut the thighs from Susy’s legs.
”What are you doing?” Milo said.
Ron looked at him. ”For eating.” He said and held the muscle up towards Fore-eyes. ”We have to survive somehow.”
”I will never eat her.” Milo exclaimed.
A day later he regretted ever saying the words.
But I was so hungry, he thought and looked at the face now hanging on body without flesh. Please forgive me. He hoped she would keep him alive.
Sharon got to know how wrong he was once she opened the door after the six days had passed.
“Good day.” Ron said. He combed Susy’s hair.
Sharon froze as Ron threw the head at her. And when she figured she had to scream, Ron already had her throat between his teeth.

Flashes of Sanity #43: Heir of Garbage

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less.

This week’s entry: Heir of Garbage


Helena rolled her eyes. Again. “No you are daughter to Susanne Queen. Owner to the largest garbage disposal company worldwide.”
“That makes me a princess.” Melany tied her arms around her chest and slammed her ass on the floor.
“The princess to countless garbage trucks in that case, my lady.” Helena told the oversized baby.
“And all those garbage men, accountants and the computer trolls mom always talks about.” Melany locked her eyes on Helena. “And you. Never forget that.”
Like you ever give me the chance, Helena thought.
“I am for always at your service, ma’am. ” Helena bowed in mockery of her employer. Luckily, Melany was too stupid to get it.
Melany lit up. “That’s better.” She was suddenly up on her feet and patted Helena on the head. “You are one great nanny.”
“I am your teacher, ma’am.” Helena said. “You stopped having nannies a long time ago.”
“Same thing.” Melany said while skipping out of her room.
Helena looked at her clock. Two hours. It had taken two hours just to get her out of her damned room. If just the pay wasn’t so good.
“You know what?” Melany turned back. “Today, I want to learn about sex. Could you ask your boyfriend to come over?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” It was the thousand time Melany had asked the question. Somehow the answer always cheered her up.
“How sad.“ Melany said. “I have had five boyfriends.“
All whom your mother paid, Helena thought but kept her mouth shut.
Suddenly the room began flashing red. Melany screamed.
“What?” Helena said while shielding her eyes from the light.
“Someone just broke in.” Melany ran towards Helena and threw herself into Helena’s arms. “Save me.”
“Saving you? How?”
“I don’t know how you poor do it.” Melany held her hand against her head like a maiden in distress. “Just get me away from here.”
Loud explosions sounded from the bottom floor. A man entered the room.
“Melany Dust?” He said.
“Please don’t take me.” Melany shouted before two bullets hit her in the head.
“Your mom says hi.” The man said then he threw the gun to Helena. “Either you shoot yourself or I do it for you.”
“What?” Helena said while still processing the blood pouring out of Melany’s forehead.
“To slow.” The man suddenly stood beside Helena and held her hand around the gun and pointed it towards her head. “I am sorry for this.”
She heard the trigger clicking. Then all went away.

Flashes of Sanity #40: A Genuine Fiend

Welcome to Flashes of Sanity! Your weekly dose of flash fiction on 500 words or less. This week’s entry is A Genuine Fiend!


Where am I? Isa thought to himself, what have happened?
Isa recalled the bottle after a long day.
”You know what they say right?” A voice said in the darkness. ”In the dark, only the dead find meaning.”
”They say that?” Isa focused on the voice. Male. 40.
”No, they don’t.” The man laughed. ”Idiot. I always loved that about you.”
So I know of him, Isa quickly scanned his memory. Could he be an old case revenger? Unlikely. Was it their current case? Maybe.
”I am sorry.” Isa said. ”But I don’t seem to recall who you are.”
It was worth a shot.
”You don’t! Well, I have known you for a long time. Some would even call me your best friend.”
Now Isa laughed. ”Sorry. But the last one who called me best friend slept with my girlfriend.”
”Matt was never your friend!” The man’s voice turned harsh.
Good, Isa thought.
”Matt never wanted your best…”
”But you do? I am sorry but I have missed the point where tying me up in the dark is my best.”
”You will understand. ” The man’s steps echoed against the floor. ”We have some time to talk before you die.”
A deadline, Isa sighed, how wonderful.
”The first time I noticed you.” A lighter suddenly lit next to Isa’s face. ”Your hair caught fire.”
Isa flinched. The light went out.
”I was ten!” He said. “Have you been tracking me since I was ten.”
”I begun much earlier Isa, but that was when I found you fascinating. Already back then you showed an interest for… pain.”
Isa froze in his chair and stared into the darkness. “What do you mean?”
“Come on Isa! Don’t act around me. I genuinely want what’s best for you.“
Wait, Isa told himself, wait for the monster to give you more.
“Trying the McKalvey method?”
Isa’s heart pounded fiercely inside his chest. Off course the monster knew. It made sense.
“Yes. Not very effective it seams.” Isa said. “I lit myself on fire, was that what you wanted to hear? I liked it.”
“Now we are getting somewhere. You have enjoyed fires for a long time now.”
“I think you have gotten something wrong here.” Isa wrestled with the rope. “I only lit myself on fire one summer.”
“True.” The whole room began burning. “But you have played with fire ever since.”
Isa fell back against the cement floor and the chair broke. He was free.
“You found out you enjoyed the pain. How many times have you been to the ER now again?”
Isa listened carefully. “To be fair I never planed on going there.”
“Yes, and the next time you won’t walk out.”
Isa attacked. A bull’s eye.
“I am pretty sure you won’t walk out either.”
“I only want what is best for you.” The man wheezed.
Isa pushed harder.
“You are dying.” The man said with his last breath.
Isa’s heart stopped with his hand still wrapped around a bottle.

500 Words – Entry 39: Gray: A retailers dream

If you want to read this week’s story about a weird meeting at a store, don’t worry. It is still here. Just further down in this entry.I have added some blog-like personal thoughts to this and the last entry.

Personal thoughts

It feels like I am ramping up my writing! And I have alot in the pipeline both for the blog and my writing in general! This is so exciting (and a little nerve wrecking). Stay tuned!

I have discovered a couple of new podcasts that really excite me. They really have opened my eyes around the business of being an author.

1. The creative Penn podcast ( https://open.spotify.com/show/070M71FwN4u6HOivKRvqvq?si=UvmWJa_eTnmSFjWeSY1_ug&utm_source=copy-link )

2. 6 figure author podcast ( https://open.spotify.com/show/3YVuvQBs7OVWYRxm2Sqmyx?si=W8ACK2pqTJi8bYsB9hESgw&utm_source=copy-link)

Do you have any great podcasts? Send me a link!

Now to the story!

I had a blast writing this story. Gray just had som special about him. I hope you will have a laugh too.

Gray: The Retailer

”HELLO!” The voice echoed above the shelves. “Welcome to Food Palace – Where we make life easy.”
“Hush.” Matt said. “Did you hear that? Let’s be quiet, okay?”
Little Joe nodded.
“How can I help you todaaaaaaa-!” And there he was, Gary ‘Gray’. His feet lost their grip and slid on the tiles. For effect, he imitated a motorcycle.
“I see you brought Joe today.” Gray pinched the babies cheeks. “let me help you with that cart.”
Joe burst into tears.
“I think someone wants to have a loooollipop.”
Before Matt had the time to object, Joe hade a red lollipop in his mouth and a storm of new pinches hailed upon the reddening cheeks.
“So Matt, how can I help you today? “ Gray turned to Matt who saw Joe cry while turning hyperactive.
“I don’t need any help. “ Matt said. “We are just here for a quick errand.”
“Matt… no one enters food palace for a quick errand.” Gary steered them towards the vegetables.
“But we only need mi-. “
“Do you like my new shirt?“ Gray suddenly halted. “It is in fifty shades. Just like me.“ He leaned closer to Matt. “I am gonna let you in on a secret, I have learned a thing or two. And my playroom draws women like crazy.“
“Playroom?” The father said as two carrots landed in his cart. “I said… “
“Have I showed you our news?“ Gray suddenly steered deeper into the store.
“You should see the craziness we have taken in.” Gray continued . “Boats, cars… You know wwhat we sell houses. Maybe we should rename our self ‘The Palace’. “
“But I wanted milk.” Matt resisted but suddenly stopped. “Is that…”
“Yes.” Gray put his arm around Matt’s shoulders. “A full sized lego tank!”
Between them, Joe jumped up and down in sugary high.
“And you know what… “ Gray leaned closer. “It is on sale.”
“I could never…” Matt stared at the giant monstrosity . “We don’t have the money… Lisa would never…”
“Like you care what she thinks!” Gray blurted. Joe got a new lollipop and reached a terrifying hyper energized state .
“I do!” Matt looked startled at all the fifty shades of Gray.
“Sure.” Gray whistled in disbelief. “From what Lisa told me in my playroom you are kind of disappointment.”
Matt looked in confusion at the man who didn’t look to ever land anyone off the opposite sex. “Lisa has seen your playroom?”
“Many times and I gotta tell you, that tiger knows her stuff. “
“Tiger?” The craziness of it all got shady. “She hasn’t worn those in years.”
“Only for special occasions. They really shows her best sides.” Gray shaped a woman’s curves with his hands. “So what do you say? Lego tank? Or not?”
“I don’t know…” Matt said as he signed the paper and his mind thought tiger stripes and fifty shades.
“Now go and fulfill your dreams!” Gray disappeared between the shelves.
“Damn you Gray.” Matt sighed.

500 Words – Entry 38: The Reviewer

Once again… Wednesday! Once again I have a short story for your entertainment.

I have used a random word generator to find inspiration for this and the following entries. It has posed a bit more of challenge for my writing but I find fun to work in more limited environment.

The word for this week was Reviewer, it actually worked out pretty well.

And well I will give you the words guiding my upcoming entries as well just to tease you a bit 😉

They are: Retailer, Abnormal, Threads, Heir, Asylum, Homosexuals

What will I do with these words? Stay tuned to find out!

Anyway… Lets get to the short story.

The Reviewer

Dale Riderstorm stood in front of a door. Most people would see just that, only a door. Dale was no normal people. He was The Reviewer. The rich’s boogeyman. He saw a white paint so clean the door shone in the morning light. He saw the code lock with fingerprint recognition.
Dale scanned the door from top to bottom as he picked up a color chart from his front pocket. He opened the chart to page 91.
As suspected, he thought slyly.
‘Cotton white from Shuster’s paint and home décor’ He noted in his leather notebook bought at Authors and Doers. The smell filled him with calm. No one could make notebooks as Laura does.
He looked over his shoulder and glansed at the other houses. seven out of ten with code locks. All from the same manufacturers.
Business must be booming, he thought for himself.
Dale stepped back. He studied the windows. Also cleaned with an extraordinary precision. Out of his left pocket, he picked up a flashlight no larger than a pen. The light beam refracted into all shades of blue as it hit the windows.
‘Qlever Home Cleaning’ Dale noted. They were the only who used detergents with that refraction pattern.
Dale decided that he had seen enough and walked up to the door and knocked. He could hear his subtle knock vibrate through the door and create a heavy echo on the other side.
‘A Bernard Hausen Woodwork Door. Quality.’ He noted.
A man in jeans and a shirt opened the door. No freshly pressed suit. Dale smiled. It probably waited in the closet until Dale had left.
How stupid the rich are, he thought as he picked up his notebook again.
‘Grim Denim. Loose Fit. Extra tears from’ Dale took a closer look at the jeans. ‘Western Clothing. BesQ Shirt. Summer Edition.’ Dale looked down at the socks. ‘Submarines Diamond Edition. Luxurary on Demand.’
The man looked at Dale’s pen and then at his socks. He swallowed.
“Kyle Rose?” Dale loved the fear in all the victims eyes before the hammer came down. He held back a shiver.
“Yes.” The man stuttered.
“I am the Reviewer.” Dale walked in without waiting for Kyle to invite him. “Are you alone?”
Kyle looked around as if he made sure he was  not forgetting anything. A reflex he shared with so many other creeps. “No I am all alone.”
“How great!” Dale put on his leather gloves. Highest quality. Easy to clean. “Please close the door. We don’t want the neighbors to know about your shameful living.”
Kyle nodded. He hesitated.
“We don’t run from our problems Kyle. Such impulses could make our matter really ugly.”
As if he was electrocuted Kyle immediately closed the door.
“So Kyle Rose…” Dale smiled as he looked around. So many possibilities. “You know why I am here. Let the review begin.”

500 Words – Entry 37: Conspiracy Theorist

It is time for my weekly short story!

But first… A little update! (yeah I am testing something new again)

From next week I will start using a random word generator for themes on my short stories. This will bring a new level to this challenge. I am looking forward to this so much.

On my other writing projects:

I have sent a pitch to a publisher for the Thundering Flame comic book project I have been working on. Let’s see how this goes!

On Demons in Cotton, I have decided to go for self-publishing. So now I am looking for an editor and hopefully this will soon be resolved.

A lot is happening right. And it feels like I am entering into a new era of my writing life!

Stay tuned for more information!

Now to the story!

Conspiracy theorists

Sonja was no lady with a tin foil hat tyghtly wrapped around her head. No, that was the idiocy level 1 conspiracy theorists. Sonja left those days behind her a long time ago. When she met Grant. Wheen he taught her the levels.
No more government against the small people. No more lizards behind rich faces. No more flat earth.
The world was built differently. It was a layer. Nothing else. And all the crazyness was what came when you piled layer on top off layers on top off layers. It was pressure nothing else.
Sonja hugged the heavy book closer to her chest. ’Physics of an unstable world’ by Grant Buster. A true master piece. A true master. All needed to understand was on these pages. Explanations of the human psyche. Diagrams of a world spiraling into chaos.
She was so happy he reached out to her before it was too late. Now they can change the world. They can save it.
”Thank you for coming on such a short notice. ” Grant said in the distance.
Sonja looked up into the candle light. ”How could I not?” She said. ”The world’s safety is an urgent matter.”
”It is indeed…” The old man limped closer. His cane with its dragon head was carved out of marble. Yet he carried it as it was nothing but cheap plastic. ”And the world must never know of the work we do.”
”Yes.” Sonja put the book down on her knees. ”I haven’t told a soul, but if they knew what hides between these pages.” She caressed the spine. ”They would change their ways, I truly believe so.”
”You young ones are so naive.” Grant sighed. ”I have tried many times in my youth but never have it penetrated through the ignorant minds. We must do what they cannot. We must be seen as outcasts so they can live the good life. ”
A pause stayed between them for what Sonja thought felt like forever before Grant once again spoke.
”It is time for you to become a level 10. ”
”What?” Sonja turned to her meister. ”But I am only a 5, how could I jump all the way to 10. It has taken my years to get here.”
”Yes, but time is of essence. And I do not know how long I have left.” Grant leaned on Sonja’s chair. ”Your real training begins now. You will have no breaks, you will never see home again. You will not be a member of the ignorant anymore. You are ready my child. ”
Sonja swallowed her fear and all the memories of the life she once called her home. ”Yes I am. ” She said.
”Good. Turn to page 439. ”
Sonja obeyed and looked at the drawings in front of her. All the components, and all the chemicals.”What is this? ”
”That?” Grant rested his heavy marble cane on her book. ”That is a bomb for our enemies. I want you to bring it to yhem. ”
Sonja hesitated. ”Do you want me to detonate a bomb with our enemies? Do you want me to kill myself in the name of our cause?”
Grant laughed. ”No, I don’t want you to kill yourself. ” Then she felt is breath along her neck. ”You see at level 10 you don’t die. His fangs dug into her skin.
She gasped for air but nothing reached her lungs. She screamed but her voice was already dead. The book hit the floor and her empty body crashed down beside it. In the corner of her eye she saw Grant walk closer. Nowhere was the limp that one was his trademark.
”Please don’t kill me.” Sonja whispered. Her weak heart gave of a desperate final beat.
”Welcome my creature of the night” Grant whispered into her ear. ”Now let your body die and join me in the dark.”